Who determines how you show up?
I’m talking about how you show up in life, in social media, and even how you see yourself in the mirror when you’re alone. Do you see yourself as a success, or do you show up as a failure? Are you living a big life or a small one? Do you see yourself living up to your potential, or are you buying into the lies you tell yourself?
We all believe the lies sometimes. We even repeat them when we are faced with a challenge, or asked to leave our comfort zone. Our own voice tells us that we aren’t good enough, strong enough, talented enough, or smart enough! Where do we get the information that we tell ourselves every day?
I heard from a troubled friend the other day. He struggles like we all do, but sometimes his struggles get the best of him. There are no easy answers for him and everyone else who suffers through the heartbreak of loneliness and depression. My friend (we’ll call him “Joe”) said that he often stays in his house with the curtains drawn. His solution was to avoid facing the world and dealing with possible rejection. I wasn’t sure what to say.
What I did say and what I wanted to say battled within me for a few minutes. My first reaction was to tell him, “Snap out of it!” That would have been the wrong response of course, but it makes me angry. Joe shouldn’t be trapped inside his house when there is a whole life out there waiting for him. The other reason that it makes me angry is because I can relate. Of course I can. Don’t I go through the same struggle every day?
I can’t count the times that I didn’t show up like I needed to because I was sad or afraid. The curtains may not have been drawn on my house, but they were drawn on my heart. Either way, it didn’t matter. The outcome was the same. I missed opportunities and chances that I will never have again. I gave up moments that could have been my time to shine, laugh, or even fall flat on my face. But they were MY moments, and I missed them because I didn’t show up. Have you always had the heart, or the guts, to show up?
This world is full of advice on who and how you should be. There’s always a scenario for how you should present yourself to be acceptable to society. Plenty of books have been written. Psychologists, preachers, politicians, and social media influencers are telling us every day who we should be. They are paid the big bucks to tell us how we should think and feel.
There are even countless opportunities to see perfect photos of these very people living “perfect” lives. Even their “real” and “no makeup” photos are carefully orchestrated to be presented in the best possible light. Sure, they will show you their flaws–but only after they put them through a few filters. They call this being “real,” and we buy into that lie and find ourselves still not good enough. We still can’t meet the standard.
How hard it is to be authentic in a world that pushes and pulls at you all the time! There are so many mixed messages on who you should be. The information that we are fed daily keeps us completely out of center. It shifts our focus from who God made us to be to an ideal of unattainable perfection.
This ideal is impossible to meet in business as well. There are voices from every direction, all with the only pathway to the top. One says “Niche down,” and another, “It’s death to the creative to go small with a niche.”
Confusing messages permeate social media for $47 a month if you’re lucky and catch it before it goes up! “Focus on your story, that’s what people want to hear.” As soon as you do that, the narrative changes. Then it’s, “Take the spotlight off yourself and put it on others!” One foot forward, two steps back, and it’s easy to retreat to a dark room with the curtains drawn!
However, at the end of the day, your life, your relationships, and your business all belong to YOU! I don’t know how you can possibly fail if you show up as yourself in any situation. That’s who God made you to be. So be that! Be you and be good at it.
You are uniquely gifted and talented to stand out from the crowd or to blend into it as you. No one else can ever be you. God chose you for the part for a particular reason. What you have to give to the world is YOURSELF! Show up as you and be proud of who YOU are! Open the curtains and be amazed to be you and happy to be alive!
I know a little three year old girl who dresses herself. Cori rarely matches her clothes, and if she does, it’s an accident, but she doesn’t care! Sometimes she wears a princess dress that’s two sizes too big with furry boots of a completely different color. It never bothers her if her hair isn’t combed. She doesn’t mind if there’s chocolate on her face. It’s okay if she wears combat boots with a dress. Whether her attitude or her outfit is acceptable to society makes no difference to her! She’s happy just the way she is and happy to be herself. Cori isn’t old enough for the world to have taken that away from her. I pray that it never does.
To recognize that you have value simply because you are “you” is a wonderful gift from God. To have the childlike simplicity to understand that it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks is priceless! What really matters when you show up is that you show up. When you do, make sure the curtains are not drawn on your heart.